Women....

I have always had trouble with women. I mean, yeah sure, I can get a women perfectly fine. I don't have the burden of being an awkward male trying to gain affection from females. No, it was in the selection of women that I seemed to go after. Apparently I have a very poor taste in women, not in beauty, but in women themselves. Almost everyone of my seemingly endless list of women I have had relations with has turned out to be slightly not so stable. Now, I did have a few that were okay. Big shout out to them. But, anyways the majority of the female folks who so happen to stumble into my life have issues. These issues range from severe depression to unfathomable substance abuse. Its ridiculous. You'd think that a semi-normal person like me would be attracted to the lesser fucked up half of the female population. Obviously not. 

I'm not sure what it is that attracts me to these types of people. Maybe its that I enjoy danger. I mean that's why people cliff dive and shit. They do it because its dangerous...and fun. Maybe I am having fun being close to the fire. Living on the "edge". I honestly don't like that because if I were to stick with this reasoning I would obtain this crushing force of self loathing. I would hate myself because I'd feel as if I were using my girlfriends (or whatever) for my own benefit.  And I assure you I'm not that big of an asshole.

The other reason for my manic behavior may be that I am trying to fix the said individual. I hate seeing things broken. Messy, I can deal with, but broken, hell no. If I see something broken I'll try and fix it even if I have no fucking clue how to fix it. I guess that's how I view some of my relationships. I see these women and I think, "Damn, how can I make her a normal person?"  Now, this is a much more noble reason for pursuing volatile and very unstable women. There are problems though. The first issue being; I am not qualified to even think about trying to repair past daddy issues and/or emotional problems. I'm an English major. I write shit. I don't help people with mental problems. I think I've read only one book about psychology and it was "Interpretation of Dreams" by Freud. So, I'm no help there unless you need to talk about why everything relates back to penises. Secondly, me trying to fix another person's shit is like taking a wild animal and putting it in captivity. Bad things will happen. The animal will be confined to limits and will not be able to grow in a natural manner. This would in turn screw up the animal. Same principle applies to relationship based on the mantra of "fixing". 

So, sorry to bother you with my life once again. But, if you have made it to the end of this long and grueling story of my life then please go reward yourself. Do whatever it is that people do nowadays. Go strangle a raccoon or go have lunch with a homeless man. I don't know do something fun. Thanks for reading. Blah Blah Blah.